So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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