He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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