Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
