hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
