guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
