i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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