No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
