How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
