Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize