Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
