I'll bet she douches with gravy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
