Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
