Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
