? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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