Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
