Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We had sex on a dog bed..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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