it hurts more in the daytime
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
