He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize