doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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