wanna go halves on a baby?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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