I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
