Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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