It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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