i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
