So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
