I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
