Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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