coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
