Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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