I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
