Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
