Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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