I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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