Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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