Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
