I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
