Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
