my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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