Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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