is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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