You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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