drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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