I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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