The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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