If i come over, it means nothing
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize