I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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