found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
