When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
