why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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