Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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