are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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