he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
