Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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