Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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