i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
