Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
