He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
