piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
