And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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