I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize