all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
