I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
