there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize