I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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