I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
