i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
