'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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